My usual impulses

If you're a close friend or family member, you may know that I'm having a depressive relapse. Again. When I'm feeling this low, I usually think of utterly drastic changes to my life. I'll be the first one to admit that I am impulsive, and when I'm in that mood, I can hardly be swayed …

An update on my mental health

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide and self-harm. Over the past couple of weeks, I've seen my psychologist and psychiatrist because surprise, I've been feeling quite suicidal again. This entire COVID situation has taken a serious toll on my mental health. I don't really see people, eat out, shop, or do the things I used to. …

Let’s talk about splitting

Splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder where you swing between idealization of a person, and devaluation of them. Basically, you can only see someone as either really good or terribly bad: nothing in gray. It's an unhealthy way of keeping relationships because it dehumanizes the people in your life. Let's take this as …

Adventures in BPD: I found a group chat for fellow sufferers

I recently joined an anonymous group chat for BPD sufferers. I didn't expect to get much out of it because I've joined similar groups before, but damn, was I wrong. When this group shares their experience, it hits so close to home that it made me really, truly feel that I wasn't alone. That I'm …

I have Borderline Personality Disorder: what this means for me

When I started therapy 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with moderate to severe major depressive disorder. Then in April of this year, I took a battery of psychological assessments. The result? I scored high in traits of borderline personality disorder. The psychologist who administered the exams went over the symptoms with me, and as …