So, 2020 has been a bitch, hasn’t it? I’ve lost so much during the span of 12 months that The Best Friend congratulated me on staying sane.
The past year has been one of the hardest for most of us. Our world turned upside down as we weren’t able to do the things we enjoy, like seeing friends, going out to the movies or to dinner, and so on. I couldn’t employ my usual coping mechanism of going to my favorite coffee shop and journaling to reflect. I haven’t seen my therapists in-person in months, which is really hard because I genuinely enjoy our interactions. I haven’t seen The Best Friend or my college barkada in ages, which makes me utterly sad.
As news of COVID-19 vaccines keep on blasting, I’m still pessimistic that the pandemic will end in 2021. I don’t know why; I guess I just don’t like getting my hopes up.
In any case, there are still things I’m grateful for.
I’m thankful for my mom, first and foremost: she has been supporting me throughout this crisis. I’m thankful for my real friends, who show their love and affection when I need affirmation that I’m not actually a stupid piece of shit. I’m thankful for my mental health Discord server, where I have the honor of serving as a moderator, and where I’m accepted with all my flaws (albeit anonymously). I’m thankful to have 2 beautiful cats who snuggle beside me at bedtime (if they so choose – they are cats, after all).
I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason; I believe that the universe is indifferent to our puny struggles. However, I do believe in the people I surround myself with: their resilience, intelligence, and love all drive me to be better.
So if you’ve been part of my 2020 for better or worse, all I want to say is: thank you, truly.
Stealing Your Sunbeams 