depression · mental health

Guilt

I’ve been feeling guilty again as of late.
It’s not easy being depressed, but it’s not easy being the support system of a depressive, either. My mom is expressing how tiring she finds my illness to be, how my negativity is infecting her, so I’m trying not to show her when I’m in a sad state of mind. It doesn’t help that on top of everything she does, she has to monitor my meds as well.
My best friends, Kat and Gelo, have the worst of it. I text them when I’m feeling like I want to die, which can’t be easy for either of them. They send me supportive messages and try to help me out the best they can, but they often remind me that the person who can help me best is myself. Not so easy when sometimes, I can’t even think of getting up in the morning.
I know they love me dearly, but I also know that they’re getting tired. They are, after all, only human. I have to strike a balance between withdrawing from my current support system and trying to be my best support system – not so easy when I’ve been swinging wildly to extremes on both fronts.

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2 thoughts on “Guilt

  1. Marist, if you feel like you’re not strong enough, you fall back on me. Because I’ll be here. Always. Also, I don’t think you ever need to feel guilty about anything, especially when you’re sharing your thoughts. Because I know Kat (sige, Peter din) and I know she wouldn’t want you to feel that way.
    Love you!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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