I’ve been feeling a lot better as of late. I mean, sure, some days I still wake up with a heavy heart for no reason. And sometimes my anxiety kicks in and I want to curl into a ball on the floor. But I’ve been managing it well – better, at least, than I used to.
My therapy has been cut back from 2-3 times a month to just once a month. I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it, but apparently, I am coping. I have a grounding object that works wonders. I have people to contact in case of emergencies (i.e. existential crises). And very little thoughts along the line of “If I vanished off the face of the earth right now, would that be such a bad thing?”
I’ve been reading a book on other people’s experience with depression, and it’s been useful. Granted, some advice doesn’t apply to me (I am exercise-averse and I’m an atheist, so telling me to get moving and pray doesn’t work for me), but it’s still nice to know that a lot of other people have gone through depression and are currently doing fine.
I guess that’s part of why I’m trying to be more open about my depression – if even one person could feel less alone by reading my shit, then it will all have been worth it.