anxiety · mental health

What my anxiety feels like

I mostly have my anxiety under control, but when it strikes, boy, does it take a toll on me. It exhausts me the entire day and leaves me with zero energy to do much else.

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[photo source]

It struck on a road trip with my family, for reasons I still don’t know.

It struck during a supposedly funĀ sleepover with my friends because – get this – I was anxious that I wouldn’t have fun.

Mild anxiety attacks are palpitations. Moderate ones make me short of breath. Severe ones make me feel like I’m literally going to die: like, I can’t speak or even breathe, my limbs go numb, I get tunnel vision, and everything seems to fade to black. It’s the worst. One of my friends hadĀ a panic attack recently and asked me how I could handle an awful experience on a regular basis.

Thankfully, I got a grip on my anxiety attacks. I take my medication (Clonazepam rules, bitches). I have a grounding object – a clay Jake (of Adventure Time) figurine which The Best Friend handmade and painted for me – which I keep on my person at all times and hold when I feel panic. I have an album on my phone which I look at to remind me that regardless of what my anxiety says at the moment, I am not alone.

 

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