I have a lot of feelings

The one you love and the one who loves you


The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. —Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters


The one you love is indifferent. You can spend your waking hours craving his affection and approval, only to have him ignore and belittle you. He might never give you what you want. You, on the other hand, give him everything he could possibly need, leaving none for yourself so long as he is satisfied. Which he never is.
To him, your problems are small and petty, to be answered with a shrug of the shoulder. Despair will tear at you and you blindly convince yourself that someday he will return your affections.

The one who loves you, on the other hand, worships the ground you walk on, kisses the hem of your garment. He will give you everything he has, and more. You know this because he makes sure you know this.
To him, your problems are his problems, his burden to bear. Guilt will gnaw at the pit of your stomach and you wonder why he would do all this for someone like you.

There’s one thing they have in common, though: you will never feel good enough for either of them.

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