family · food · places

Not going back to Laiya, Batangas. Ever.

L-R: me, my cousin Dylan, and my mom.

I had high expectations for this year’s Holy Week because it was the first time in a long time that my mom and I would be going out-of-town together. Let me end this paragraph by saying that it was, hands down, the worst vacation I have gone on so far.

It started out okay. After the bus ride to Lipa and a long jeepney ride to San Juan, we had lunch at a small cafe called Cafeño.

Dylan, my mom, me, and my Tita Bebe (who I call Mommy)

What used to be a Mobilgas gas station in 1948 is now a cafe which serves, among others, barako coffee and pastries. We liked it because it had a unique vintage look, thanks to the wooden floors and walls, black-and-white newspaper clippings.

They used a sewing machine as a base for their table. Cool, eh?

Then we took a very uncomfortable jeepney ride to Laiya: the passengers were not only people, but luggage and big sacks of vegetables. An old woman actually asked the driver to stop the vehicle because she wanted to buy some bread from the roadside store. DAFUQ? Maybe it was common practice there, but to an urbanite (or raging selfish misanthropist) like me, this was wildly inconsiderate.

When we finally got to Casa Remo Apartelle, we were disappointed at what we saw. We were misled by the pictures (I always think photographs are big fat liars, and I was right!).
Mommy in particular was indignant at the lack of cable TV, which the site specifically promised. A man from the office explained that their cable had broken down because someone used the satellite dishes as a clothesline. Major WTF moment.

DO NOT BE FOOLED.

More disappointment ensued when we saw the beach. There were barely two or three meters of sand before you could reach the water. It seemed that the locals built their houses too close to the water. The sand was gritty, rough, and stony—I couldn’t walk on it barefoot without cringing in pain every few minutes.

Tita Ninang, Dylan’s mom.

The most fun we had was riding the pedalboat. We had such a hard time steering that Dylan almost had to jump out and drag the pedalboat to shore, lol.

It was after this that my mom informed me of all the activities that we weren’t doing:

  • Banana boat-ing
  • Getting a body massage
  • Snorkeling
  • Kayaking

She could have just said, “We won’t be doing all the things you wanted to and made us promise to do!”

Afterwards, we ate at Kappe Brako, where we all agreed that the food is not worth the money. It’s too damn expensive.

After a nap that did not improve my mood, we went to eat at Lomi House, a nearby carinderia. Batangas is known for its delicious lomi; however, at the time, I really really badly wanted some goto. And guess what? They didn’t serve goto! I felt like yelling, “Goto is the only friggin’ thing I want right now! What does the universe have against me?”

Maybe thinking that the sea air would put some life into my dejected shell of a person, my mom suggested a nighttime stroll by the beach. The low tide left a very large portion of sand exposed, where we were free to walk and write stuff (here is where I would say, *~I wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away~*).

Maybe this is just the high-maintenance princess in me talking (even my cousin says I am high-standard, and I accept that I can get too maarte), but I am not going back here.

Also, I find it hilarious that we’re all smiling in these photos when all we did there was complain about how we are never, ever going back to the place.

I couldn’t put my full weight on the tire swing because I’m scared the tree branch would fall off . Shame. I love tire swings. 😦
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4 thoughts on “Not going back to Laiya, Batangas. Ever.

  1. natawa naman ako dito. was supposed to support you on your travel post :))

    yah, funny how you're complaining and your pictures are all smiles! haha. the water looks muddy from the picture. :))

    that cafeno coffee shop sounds like an experience. gotta try that when we go back to san juan.

    oh and i miss you babe 😦

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  2. Akala ko di mo napansin na nakangiti kayo lahat sa photos, haha. Travel tip: if you want to get to know a place better, don't just look at one site but many (blogs, especially). And consider the post dates. =)

    Don't give up on Laiya though! I heard there are many beautiful beaches there naman. Anyway, mukhang interesting yung Cafeno. =)

    PS Super magkamukha kayo ng mom mo!

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  3. I'm sorry to hear about this major, major clusterfuck of a vaction. I mean, not having cable TV is probably bearable since you guys are gonna be out of the room 60-70% of the time…but to endure STONY sand?! Penitensya?!

    You guys deserve at least a 50% discount if in case you guys go back…which I doubt. kahit lahat kayo naka-ngiti sa picture. lol.

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  4. Well, let's just charge it all to experience. At least, we got out of our houses and went out of town. At least, we got a taste of CafeÑo. It was kind of surprising for me though that their coffeehouses charge similarly as the cafes here in Metro Manila. Don't you think that's a shocker?
    To quote John Irving's “The World According to Garp,” what's a lot of shit in the pipes if you've got good memories? Of course, I'm referring to the company and not the Apartelle itself.lol!

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